And the stories continue…
Our life is interwoven into so many daily issues that we hardly find time to sit back and retrospect our past, our family, and our friends. Life did have all the colors woven into it and had been like a comfortable sheet over my head. However, everyone is not so lucky. I have learnt this over the years, and that’s the reason I remember two of my unfortunate friends…
Tahir was a person who lived his entire life in poverty. His father has a bicycle repair shop in a small town near Udaipur. With all his might, he sent Tahir to Udaipur to complete his graduation and get a white color job. He stayed in one of the rooms, which were let by my aunt. The same time I was also pursuing my graduation. He was sharing his room with one more guy, Juzar. The rent was fourteen dollars per month for the room which they both used to bear. Those seven dollars were almost a fortune for him to spend every month. This grief and poverty was one of the reasons for him to invent a very novel way of washing clothes. Tahir used to soak his clothes in water for 3 to 4 days until they started smelling. That was the time when he used to take them out, rinse them in clean water and dry them in sunshine. He didn’t have money to purchase a washing soap that used to cost almost twenty – thirty cents.
He was brilliant in his studies and had known answers to all the questions in his books but that was not going to feed him. I came to know recently that during his final year, he had a terrible fever and as usual he never had extra money for the doctor. One fateful night, the fever rose high in his brain and he left the struggle behind him. His struggle is now survived by his aging parents.
In competition for survival stood one more candidate, my friend: Ashfaq. His father was a supervisor in a beatle nut factory. Limited income and unlimited aspirations. He is a brilliant guy I have ever come across. However, I had this realization too late. I remember how we gang of friends use to make fun of his ideas, his out of the box thinking process. He was very fond of reading, and since he couldn’t afford a newspaper subscription of one and a half dollar per month, he used to spend his late evenings in a nearby library. He used to spend his afternoons and weekend working in a hosiery shop, trying to make some money for his education. I left him in Udaipur eight years back when I came to Hyderabad for my MBA. However, when I realize his life and his struggle today, I imagine how foolish of me to have lost a friend in that dreary desert of struggle, never ever thinking about him. Yesterday I found out that he still lives in the same city I hail from. No contact details yet, but I want to correct my wrongs by once again being with him. This time not to make fun of his ideas but to get some visionary thinking from him.
These and millions more stories lose their worth in the sand of time. Their possibility to reach worthy and affluent people is almost nil. I wish the lesson I have learnt from the past will help me in lending a helping hand to one in need…
Hi Sajid,
Beethe din, beethe pal … Yaad aane lagi !!
I remember them now again.
Yes, I know that my previous generation in my family struggled a lot to make a silver spoon for me by the time I turned 10 years old. But still I ignored the pain of many of my friends whom I had seen to be struggling with extreme poverty in my childhood and teenage. I had the wish to meet them again and do something for them. But I don’t have any time (that is the best escape anybody can get now-a-days) !!! After reading your ideas I came to know that – not making sometime for such friends is as good as not wishing to assist them in anyway.
We generally read in the books / watch in the movies that – persons who once struggled with extreme poverty will eventually shine to be the brightest stars with their knowledge, attitude and hard-work. Real life is not that magical.
Thanks for invoking the thought in me.
Murali - August 2, 2010 at 11:53 AM
Its true that most of us might be having friends around with such a difficult situations of life !! but Sajid i am always surprised, how is it that something which we dnt even notice you can write a blog on it,how do you remember so many past things !! ……..i now know .Its because you are that kind of person who wants to learn from every episode of your life….You know it well that there is a lot more to learn and you are still way too far from being perfect…a truth which all of us know but very few of us like to accept ,and you can write it publicly because you are’nt afraid to face it unlike many of us …….situations which many people dont even want to take a notice you can make them your inspirations…….i salute to your observations ….you are truly a VERY GOOD HUMAN !!
Arwa - August 2, 2010 at 11:54 AM
Dear friends, I had seen some struggle in my life and when I revert back to them,I observe people who were with me in the same journey and try to locate them……….. Not only to see how much they have succeeded but also to understand their requirements now. I know I am not a millionaire neither hold any magic wand that I can resolve all their issues, but I believe every journey starts with a single step. I want to help them take that first step…
Sajid - August 2, 2010 at 12:05 PM
I came from humble stock. My father, an Airforce ‘Information Officer’ during the war and my mother a Wren. My father became a school teacher(history & english) after the war, my mother a housewife and subsequently a shop ssistant selling showes. There was little money around during my upbringing but retrospectively I suspect we were far from poor. We had no car, well not until I bought one in 1968 for my 18th birthday, but there were plenty of busses and – of course – my bike.
I hated school as I was continually bullied after an accident in the 60s(run over by a big red double-decker bus) left me walking on crutches for months. Kids are can be nasty little buggers?! I had just two friends then but they both sided with the bullies and I disowned them.
In self defence I learned Judo and Karate and trained hard(wax-on, wax-off?). One day one of my ex-best-friends joined in the bullying. This was too much. I turned instinctively, stared into his eyes and gave him a choku-zuki(straight punch) to the solar plexus. He dropped, breathless, to his knees. I got bullied no more afterwards, except for some goading later that week when a classmate kept asking for a demonstation of karate (believing I did not practice it I suppose), I split the folding top of his desk with a shuto-uchi(the classic ‘chop’). He got into terrible trouble I remember but later became a good friend.
I managed to get though university on a grant but sometimes dinner would consist of oxo cubes dissolved in boiling water with lots of (usually stale)bread. We had a favourite ‘restaurant’, the Plaza on Upper Brooke St. in Manchester, Dingy little Indian with chequered plastic table-cloths, luvly! Chicken Biriani was the speciality (best with a very hot “Vindaloo” sauce). The restaurant was closed several times when they found numbers of cat’s-skins in the dustbins – whatever, it tasted good and was cheap as chips. Went there all the time often (when it wasn’t shut down).
After uni I got married, mainly because my girlfriend got pregnant, it wasn’t my best decision. We lived in Macclesfield and had very little money as I was unemployed. She got a job and I looked after the baby. By the time I did find a job, a year later, our marriage had deteriorated and she left. I ended up taking a redundancy offer and moving home(Portsmouth) to mum. My dad had recently died. I was back on the unemployment register. I vowed that when I got a job I’d keep it – for ever!
I conned my way into a job in IBM through Manpower and luckily got one in the same area I had been working in in Mac’. I excelled. They sent me up to London to do an audit at Greenford I remember. I should never have been allowed as I was not an IBM employee and not authorized. The paperwork was apparently a nightmare!
I went back to college and did a diploma in Computer Studies. It was government sponsored so actually I was OK for cash suddenly. A year later and I had an interview with IBM. My previous boss there gave me a fantastic reference (“leaps tall buildings at a single bound” etc.). I started as a Data Controller on £4½K+/year, pretty good money then.
Since then I have worked all over the place in UK and Europe and never been short of money.
In 1999 I migrated to Sweden to work and live with my (now) wife, Pia. We have enough money and I think that very few people in this country are truly poor, not in the same way that you speak of.
Next birthday I’ll be 60 and I’m hoping to still have a job here. :-/
Steve Coalbran - August 2, 2010 at 4:43 PM
your articles make me realize how fortunate i am. we usually end up complaining everyday about what we have lost or what we lack but strange…how seldom it is that we do acknowledge the bounties that god has ever bestowed upon us. after reading your article this very gratitude has woken up in me. i truely thank god and my mom for bringing me in this world with a silver spoon in my mouth. i will always remain in gratitude for the same. thanx to u too for being such a lovely brother, an inspiration and an eye opener. may god bless!!
nusrath hussain - August 3, 2010 at 11:09 AM
Hi Sajid, You describe something real in llife so touchy …
For somebody that was born with limited wealth but unlimited knowledge, imaginations and dreams … should be more struggle … dreams make our life more colourful.
Like me, I was born in moderate family. I can live with standard but life like a wheel. I am pursuing my master degree with my own money, high cost living, high school fee make me think more smart to spend the money more efficient …
I read more about India from our local newspaper, in your country education is not expensive compare with Indonesia like 1 : 10 for the education fee.
For me If I had money or any I will try to help my friends for they survival properly …
We should be thankful for anything we achieved … because it’s priceless especialy for knowledge and your dreams …
thanks Sajid for your snap shoot …
it’s really nice writing…
suri mahrani - August 4, 2010 at 10:43 PM
How come no blog posts from you these days Sajid?
Bhagwad Jal Park - October 2, 2010 at 2:55 AM